You did it again, didn’t you?! You said “yes” to that candle party when you could care less about candles! And even worse, you bought that stupid candle and there it sits, in your kitchen, on display to resent until the day it finally burns out. Does this sound like someone you know? Because this was me! Not too long ago. I was plagued by fear of telling someone no. Does it make you writhe and squirm also?
This article popped up on my Fox News Feed today about Flexing your “No Thanks” Muscle that I wanted to share because this concept has made such a drastic change in my own mindset and sanity.
Saying “Yes” overburdened myself, especially in those years I had babies and I would snap at those I loved the most. I wish I could share where I learned this lesson over the years. I’m sure it was some fantastic book or article that has since left my brain but…
Here’s the lesson:
- Focus your family values, your goals, or your family mission statement.
- Write them out. Put words to those values. What do they look like? What do you hold important? Rank them if need be.
- Say yes to the tasks and activities that further those values or align with them. Say no to the rest.
I ask “why am I doing this?” all the time. Busy work can overwhelm you without any real benefit other than saying its done. Are you doing something to people please? Or is there an actual benefit to yourself or someone else that aligns with your values and focus?
As Peter Bregman says in the article, “No thanks,” paves the road for “yes please,” and it simplifies your decisions and your life. It helps you do fewer unimportant things.” Is this an area you struggle with? Leave me a comment below!